Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Awesome Lady: An Introduction

As Awesome Lady was walking to the supermarket to pick up some wholesome foodstuffs for breakfast (yesterday's crime fighting had left her to forget her empty fridge and cupboards), she picked up a signal on her danger radar. She quickly flew to the source of the signal to save the little girl that was being held high above the morning traffic from a rooftop by Awesome Lady's Arch Nemesis: Rubbish Man.
Rubbish Man, as his name suggests, was the exact oppposite of Awesome Lady: a petty little man who saw bad in everything and was out to ruin the life of anyone taller than him (which was everyone except babies and garden gnomes), but his special goal in life was to ensure Awesome Lady's downfall. He frequently set up situations that he thought would cause Awesome Lady to fail, but, as her name suggests, Awesome Lady very rarely did.
'So, Awesome Lady, we meet again... And this time there will be no escape: marry me, or the girl gets it!' Awesome Lady rolled her eyes and answered: 'Bernard, haven't we been through this enough? I am not going to marry you, and you're not going to kill that little girl.' For a minute, the little girl's eyes lit up and she let out a little cheer, but this was soon punished by Rubbish Man dropping her Teddy into the traffic. The sight of her beloved toy's mangled corpse silenced the little girl and the light in her eyes grew dim.
'You get one more chance, Awesome Lady; promise to marry me or the girl gets it!!' Unfortunately, Awesome Lady's powers prevented her from promising something she knew she would not do, so she had to rely on her persuasive skills to prevent Rubbish Man (or Bernard, as only she knew him - her soft spot for him always prevented her from calling him Rubbish Man to his face). Even more unfortunately, Rubbish Man was, after four years of similar scenarios, quite immune to her non-physical charms, so Awesome Lady knew she had to work hard, and that on an empty stomach.
'Bernard, you know I cannot marry you, stop being so silly and leave that poor little girl alone so I can have some breakfast!' (It was obvious that the lack of breakfast and the fact that she had to repeat this conversation on an almost weekly basis had their affects on Awesome Lady's persuasive skills.) Unsurprisingly, Rubbish Man wasn't convinced, and, knowing he'd not get her to consent on an empty stomach, he dropped the girl. As she quickly saw the rush hour traffic approaching, the little girl let out a heartbreaking scream, which tore through Awesome Lady's heart, and even made Rubbish Man doubt his actions for a nano-second.
Awesome Lady knew she could not save the girl by catching her in flight as she was already too close to the oncoming traffic, so she quickly changed into her alter ego, The Fluffinator, and changed some of the cars directly underneath the little girl into pink fluff. As the little girl fell into the pink fluff, Rubbish Man, seeing yet another of his evil schemes foiled by the love of his life, climbed into his Rubbish Van and flew off in a huff.
After the cars had been changed back and the girl handed back to her grateful mother, Awesome Lady decided she had deserved a treat, and she set off to the nearest bagel place.
As she ate her mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel and sipped her Earl Grey, she thought back fondly to the time, years ago, when she had met a kind short man full of dreams and ideas who she had fallen in love with. Today she had seen that same man (or rather, a vague shadow of that same man) attempting to kill a little girl just to get her back in his life. Where had it all gone wrong? And would she ever be able to get the real Bernard back? Awesome Lady stared into her now emtpy cup, but found no answers.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

..... eh?
nice story (well written) but.... eh?
My english student skils have ben somewhat dulled of late by daytime telly, so is this a big giant metaphor im not getting? Or are you embarking on becoming a writer of superhero stories (which would rock by the way)?

Lizzy
-x-

Leni said...

halfway through the story i was wondering why the fluffinator hadn't been brought forth to aid the situation, and when (s)he was, i let out a little cheer.

but this leads us to another set of questions: who is rubbish man? how did his downfall occur? did he used to, by any chance, work at homebase?

all this and more yet to be seen in the continuing episodes of awesome lady...

Queen Mushroom said...

Glad you guys liked it! I thought I would just give it a try without explaining too much, but all will be revealed in later episodes.
Awesome Lady has been wanting to make an appearance for a while now, and today I finally managed to write something down!
And Lizzy: don't think too much about it, sometimes you gotta let the english student have a break! ;)