Today's Conversation Between My Hands (Or, Religious Conflicts Of The Manual Kind)

Right Hand: Hey Left, how are you? Palm still hurting?
Left Hand: Hurting, no. Disfigured, yes. I'm well pissed off!
Right Hand: Wow, wow, calm down! What's wrong?
Left Hand: Well, don't you think it would be nice sometimes to be treated just slightly better by Her?
Right Hand: What do you mean? There's nothing wrong with the way She treats us!
Left Hand: Oh no? And what about Right Index Finger, hm? I guess she likes being slammed into a closing drawer? No doubt she enjoys the privilege of developing a black spot and having everything She makes her do hurt?
Right Hand: There's no need to get stroppy, She had just gotten up, She didn't mean to close that drawer on Index!
Left Hand: Whatever. You'd think someone in charge of an entire frikkin' body would be a bit more careful!
Right Hand: Hey, hey, you can't just go around saying things like that! She usually takes really good care of us, She's just a bit nervous about this whole new university thing and having to make sure her room is done and tidy so She can put the pictures online!
Left Hand: How do you figure She takes good care of us, hm? Let's just think about it rationally. One: She makes us type loads and loads without even giving us any kind of reward for it. Two: we always get dry and chapped in the winter and autumn, and She hardly ever remembers to wear gloves or put on handcream until after we're already damaged. Three: She both burns me and slams you in a drawer within 13 hours!
Right Hand: Well, She might not be perfect, but you know what, She tries very hard and I'm sure it is not easy having to look after an entire body.
Left Hand: I don't believe you! She uses you like a slave, I mean, at least I get a break from writing when there's no computer around but for you it just never stops!
Right Hand: Well, maybe I like serving Her like that. Maybe you just don't have enough faith.
Left Hand: Maybe not, but I think it is ridiculous to believe when you don't get anything out of it!
Right Hand: That is so not what faith is about. You just don't get it do you? You don't believe and work hard to get something out of it, you do it as a testament of your faith!
Left Hand: Well, Anyone who treates Their hands like this doesn't deserve my worship.
Right Hand: Fine, whatever, suit yourself. I don't want to listen to this nonsense anymore.
Left Hand: Just telling it like it is... If you can't handle the truth, you'd better not listen anymore!
Right Hand: Well, I won't! So bye!
Left Hand: Fine, bye!