The (Not So) Unfortunate Death Of The Electric Cooker

Curtains open. Visible is a dark stage with a spotlight on a white electric cooker stage left. The rest of the stage is extremely dark, but shapes of other kitchen appliances are visible.
A tall, muscly Man walks in, holding something dark and heavy behind his back which he puts next to the Electric Cooker, out of the audience's line of sight.

Electric Cooker (shivering): W-w-what do you want?
Man (calmly): Electric Cooker, I have come to talk to you. You have a chance to defend yourself against the charges I will lay at your feet. If you cannot defend yourself adequately, I will have to kill you.
Electric Cooker (terrified): B-b-but what have I done to deserve this?
Man: The first charge against you is that of complete uselessness. Is it not true that you will not work unless a main switched is first turned on, hereby misleading The Beautiful Lady into believing that her pan with oil and chopped up onions is being heated when it is not?
Electric Cooker: Well, ehm, I ehm, I... (suddenly inspired) It is just the way my manufacturers made me! And I cannot help what happens when I am not turned on, I am not aware of it!
Man: This is an adequate defence. However, is it not also true that once heated, it is extremely hard to quickly turn down the heat you put out, causing The Beautiful Lady to be stressed about overcooking her food?
Electric Cooker (still inspired by his earlier triumph): This might be true, but The Beautiful Lady could just keep another hob on on a lower heat and be done with it!!
Man: This is an inadequate defence. The Beautiful Lady should not have to make up for your defects, as she is perfect and lovely, and you are not. Moreover, is it not true that the markings on your switches have been rubbed out, making it almost impossible for The Beautiful Lady and her Nearly Perfect Housemates to make out what heat they are cooking their food on?
Electric Cooker (getting a bit fed up with the man now, and forgetting the threat of the thing that is stood by his side): Well, it is hardly my fault that I am so popular my markings are slightly worn. And in any case, if The Beautiful Lady had a bit more patience she could just wait and feel how much heat I am giving off!
Man (severe): This is another inadequate defence. Do not toy with me, Electric Cooker, for I see throught your hastily fabricated excuses. The Beautiful Lady should not have to adapt to your silly whims. Is it not true that because of your worn out markings, The Beautiful Lady accidentally turned on a hob to its highest heat instead of taking the one she was using down one level? Is it not true that this both damaged her spatula and made her burn the palm of her left hand quite painfully?
Electric Cooker (quite desperate now): I-I-I... I do not think this is fair at all! I did not design myself and cannot be held responsible for my actions!!!
Man: This is where you are wrong, Electric Cooker, you can. And you will. I will make sure you suffer for the wrongs you have done to The Beautiful Lady and her Beautiful Left Hand.
Electric Cooker (past caring now): Whatever. Your 'Beautiful Lady' isn't that beautiful anyways, give me a nice-looking washing machine over her any day! And what are you going to do about it, huh? Make me short-circuit or summat?
Man (taking his bucket with water from behind the Electric Cooker): That is exactly what I will do, Electric Cooker.

Electric Cooker makes loud swallowing noise.

Complete blackout. Sounds of bucket of water being emptied. Electric Cooker screams, then is heard to slowly crackle and die. Man walks away, with light gray spotlight following him. When he has left the stage, all is dark.