I would want to be Boromir.
I know he is weak and wants the ring, but at least he is honest about his weakness and he is not genuinely evil. I was watching the first film last night (second one on the schedule for tonight), and realised Boromir is played by Sean Bean! Now, as in the case of the Hanson/Penhall debate, I will try to not let that affect my judgment (but let's face it, he is one of the coolest people ever, he made Troy almost bearable!), so I should probably tell you why I would want to be him.
So, we've established he's weak and wants the ring, but he doesn't actually take it, and he joins the fellowship not to kill everyone and take over, but because he genuinely wants to help (well, that's how I am seeing it, I haven't read the book so I am not sure on the details).
The most important reason, however, is the way Boromir dies. He dies fighting to protect Pippin and Merry (who, let's face it, are blundering idiots), and even when he has three (3!!!) arrows sticking in his chest he keeps fighting the ugly ork/something else people. So, for his brave death, I will choose to be Boromir. Moreover, it means he doesn't have to be in the other to films, and that last film really made me puke, so good on him! Although I saw on Imdb that he is, hmmm, I don't know how that's going to work...
The reasons for not being any of the other ones:
Gandalf: is a bit up himself, really.
Frodo: is way too sensitive and annoying.
Merry: is just a no.
Pippin: is very pretty but also very stupid, and he has hairy feet. I like his full name, though, so he's a maybe.
Sam: is way too submisive.
Gimli: is awesome but lives underground and that is just not on.
Aragorn: is way too good. Does he ever do anything wrong? Sigh.
Legolas: is definitely the sexiest and the coolest person in the fellowship, but the reason I do not want to be him is because I have decided to add a person to the films: Random Elf Woman #1 (played by, hm, me!), who later becomes Mrs. Greenleaf. (Is it sad that I know his last name? I think it is.) Problem solved.
(Just so you know; I don't fancy Orlando Bloom, just Legolas. And no, that is not weird.)
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14 comments:
Hands off him woman!
Wow you've really put some thought into this. And once again, just like the Hanson/Penhall debate (Go team Hanson) I feel that i must put in a lot of thought too.
Ok Boromir. Lets examine firstly Sean Bean. Good northern boy, cant beat a bit of yorkshire, and im happy for him that he in big films but still has time to do a few morrisons voice overs. I have to say though that nothing made troy bearable. They messed with the myth waaaaaay too much. Agamemnon killed at Troy? eh? Patrocklus and Achilles now 'just good friends' cause its a big star playing the role, and weedy weedy goat faced orlando bloom (more on him later)
bormir isnt a bad choice i suppose cause he does redeem himself by protecting the comic relief (bless those little hobbits) and good lord it takes a lot to kill that man! Hes well hard!
In terms of the other characters:
Merry - hes alright, dont think he deserves to be shrugged off with just a 'no'. He really comes into his own in the later films doing all sorts odf helpful stuff for the fellowship
Gandalf - Only ian mackellan has the ability to give that role its hammed up justice. The man chews the scenary!
Frodo - Aww bless him, yes he is a bit sensitive but hes a good boy really. he has got a lot to deal with
Sam - Sean astin really gets on my tits, but the character is very sweet
Pippin - I cant say anything bad about Peregrin Took or a certain hobbit like housemate of mine will string me up
Gimli - He has wandering accent syndrome (is it scottish? Welsh? Irish? Hes makign it up as he goes along!)
Aragorn - Smokin hot! 'Nuff said
Legolas - Now heres a tricky one. My thoughts on orlando bloom have changed over time. I must admit i was once dazzled by the prettiness of a certain elf (as i have admitted to you before he was the reason i went to see pirates of the caribbean for teh first time - thank god i came to my senses when a swishy pirate made his entrance, cause believe me, orlando fangirls are waaaay crazier than depp fangirls) However that early enchantment has now faded (thanks to said swishy pirate) and now i can see that really and truly that boy cannot act. He's also a bit to girly looking for me, yet somehow also manages to look like an angry goat (its not orlando that acts, its his eyebrows, and they can only do 'confused' which doubles for angry/concerned/looking into the distance/thinking hard). I admit his moves in the rings films are very nifty and there are still moments that are kind of hot, but lets face it, if you were in the fellowship youd be really pissed off with the girly elf being such a show off all the time
[in a side note, going back to Troy, what was with Paris going all legolas at the end and realising that while he was shit at all other forms of combat he was a whizz with a bow and arrow - oh how that film annoyed me]
One more thing to say before i give you my conclusion. The last film was brilliant! Why did it make you puke? I know its a bit sentimental at the end but come on, thats one hell of a movie journey youve been on! Oh and sean bean was in two towers in flashback to fellowship and he was in return of the king in a flashback to action in gondor that happened before the film started when the crazy king was being mean to faramir (bless him!) and boromir was sticking up for his brother. Its a bit confusing though cause theres more of him in the extended edition
So to conclude my epic post... would it be tacky of me to say id like to be Arwen so i can get off with Aragorn?
Lizzy
-x-
Heh. I was basing all this one the first film, views might change later (had no time to watch 2 today as I was packing at Leni's)
I hated Troy, absolutely hated it, but Sean Bean... Yum.
I will have to see about Merry's redeeming features in the later films...
I really don't see the appeal of Aragorn (I like my men with clean hair), but seeing as I am willing to create and extra LOTR character to be with Legolas, I can toally condone your want for being Arwen.
Hm, my want to be Boromir, I have realised, is sadly enhanced by my liking of the Bean.... Not very scientific at all!!
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just to clarify: I didn't hate all of the third film, just the fact that the ending seemed to last about 800 years.
There's nothing better than a grubby man with a sword. Rawr. And you know, us pirates have to just get on with it on our ships pillaging and plundering; theres no time to shampoo regularly. In real life however, when you actually have to be around men and not just look at their manly grubbiness straight from battle, personal hygiene is of top priority!
-x-
yeah, and you can't smell people that are on tv/the big screen.
fuck me, lizzy wrote a long comment. which i'm going to pretend i read all of. indeed.
i would be sam. cos he's awesome and cute and tubby.
however, i must concur about legolas. after seeing the films, and being way smitten with His Elfishness, i saw a picture of orlando and i was like "urgh". but then i have an excuse, and a following logic:
Orlando = short hair, far too defined jawbone, and inexplicably in my head has a thing for keira knightley which must show bad judgement.
Legolas: man not only effeminate due to long hair, but also an avid tights wearer. double plus bonus, i say.
ok, having now read lizzy's comment (i actually did actually), i must add this: i chose to be sam (chubby sidekick who marries jolly and portly wench) over being frodo (tortured, yes, but technically the hero and thus gets most attention and thus should be my character of choice) on the basis that he loses a finger, and that's just gross. also, no one ever kills the chubby sidekick. he is safe in all ways.
next down on my list would be gandalf, what with both the magical skillorz and also being an awesome thespian (the downside being that i'd a) have to take it in the ass from boys and b) have to snog zoe wannamaker repeatedly).
arwen is not on my list, because i've never found aragorn attractive on the basis that he is altogether too manly (which i reckon means he'll be found lacking and then buy a big shiny red car) and i always think he must REALLY smell. i mean, manly sweat smells, granted, but smell nonetheless. also, horses are scary.
i would, however, choose to be her father, on the basis that he looks just like david bowie, and bowie is awesome.
my mum would be gimli, or perhaps dwarf girl #2 who becomes mrs gimli, as she's had a massive crush on john rhys davies since Sliders. i think his scenes were the only ones she really paid attention to.
Good choice there! Boromir was pretty awsome just for the getting shot, getting up, fighting, getting shot, getting up, fighting, getting shot, getting up... and so on! He is someone that is hard to kill so i think thats a good characteristic to have!
I think though i would have to be Gandalf, just cos he has a cool stick with a light in it, and a beard that flies around in the wind when he rides his horse! Good stuff! Oh and if he shaves and puts a helmet on, he can move objects with his magnetic mutant powers! AWSOME!!!
Paul :P
Well done leni for getting through my epic comment. Just wanted to say, i do have a weakness for effeminite men, i really do, but very occassionally i like 'em butch, and my two butch guys have to be Aragorn and Wolverine (wrong franchise i know). So despite your convincing argument in favour of sam, i think ill stick with Arwen
L
-x-
Butch men over effeminite ones anytime, even though I do like Legolas...
And no mixing of films please, keep out X-men-ites!!!
Thanks for taking the debate seriously, tho!
whatever, im a pirate, i play by no one's rules. Ill mix the films if i wish!
L
-x-
Well done on the 2:1 by the way darling
Just an amendment: I have actually re-seen film two and three now, and although Legolas is definitely awesome, I am sticking to my guns: Legolas for the marrying, Boromir for the being, and he is in some flashbacks in the last two films...
Was gonna say something else, but I can't remember.
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