To Johnny or not to Johnny...

The last two days I have been diligently watching the first series of '21 Jump Street', and while watching it, the following question became a crucial part of my conscious: who is hotter, Penhall or Hanson?
Johnny fans, please don't despair: the question is NOT whether Peter DeLuise is hotter than Johnny Depp (can that ever really be a question?), but whether the fictional character Tom Hanson is hotter than the, again fictional character, Doug Penhall.
Now, both men have some of the same things going for them: they are policemen and look damn fine in their uniforms, they are young and have nice bodies, and because they live in the eighties, they obviously have no shame in the clothing department. I know, the last one can be seen as a minus point for the McQuaid brothers, but after watching a whole series, the eighties outfits become kinda attractive (watch those bulges....).
Both of them also have some of the same cons: they are fictional, young in the eighties therefore now (almost) the same age as my dad, and, ehm, I think that is all I can come up with. So, if we ignore these minus points as being irrelevant to the real question at hand, how can we establish who is the main hottie? (and I'd just like to stress again that the fact that Tom Hanson is in real life the Johnny does NOT count!! That would be an extremely unfair advantage) This question has to be answered by a detailed character analysis of both men. And when I say character analysis, I mean, ehm, well, leching session.
So, let's start with Doug. He, from the start of me watching the show, when I was a 12-year-old and already heavily addicted to the Johnny, has been my favourite. Why, you ask? Well, here's why: he is, without a doubt the hottest guy I have never met. He is big and strong and can obviously protect you very well, and although he is a bit of a lad, he has proven in the 'Next Generation' episode (I think; watching all of the episodes in two days really does not help to differentiate the separate storylines), that he has obvious settling-down-and-starting-a-family potential. Also, he is definitely the best dresser of the lot. I mean, between Captain Fuller's weird eighties sweaters, Judy's ridiculously big and ugly earrings and Tom's frankly sickeningly conservative outfits, there really isn't much competition. Ioki dresses very well, but is quite obviously stylish, and I like the more playful and informal look, and therefore, Doug is definitely the winner in the clothing department. Most importantly, Doug is the cool guy, the bad boy, the one who with his strange charm alone could win you over. And we all know girls like a bad boy... (hence Johnny's appeal, but enough of that, we are talking about fictional characters here!) Also, Doug is good at sports and kinda looks like a teddybear, someone whose hugs would take all your cares away. So, to summarise: Doug is winning at the moment because he is bigger, badder and better dressed. Right now I can't really think of any bad points about him, except maybe that he's not the brightest, but then again, I don't think he's stupid either, so yeh, no bad points!
Tom, on the other hand, has a lot of bad points, sex appeal wise. He might be very goodlooking, but why does he hide it under a stupid haircut, boring clothes and an annoyingly straight-laced attitude? He gets a bit better as the series goes along, but on average, he is the one guy in the show who looks like he wants to be a pipesmoking conservative 40-year-old rather than a sexy, crimefighting 20-something.
So, after watching almost all of the episodes, I thought I had my mind made up: yes, Tom looked good in the McQuaid brothers episode, but that was because he was dressed as a bad boy, and not as himself... As himself, Officer Tom Hanson was, quite frankly, a disappointingly boring and unsexy man. And then.... the last episode turned everything around. It thoroughly confused me, and now I just don't know anymore...
In the last episode of the first series, Officer Hanson and Penhall have to infiltrate a 'gang' (none of the 'gangs' in the show are really allowed to call themselves real gangs, as they are mostly highschool kids trying to get over whatever their parents have done wrong) of punks. So, everyone including Penhall is thinking that, obviously, he is going to be the one actively infiltrating and Hanson is gonna be the geeky brother. But no! The writers mess with our heads and make Hanson the punk!! And Penhall the geeky stepbrother with greasy hair!! Immediately my conceptions of Hanson and Penhall were drastically altered. Hanson looked effing gorgeous as a punker, and although he was assuming a role (as he was in the McQuaid brothers episode) he actually started to like being a punk... And Penhall started to be this uptight-ish boring dude... And because Hanson stayed in his punk gear all episode, and Penhall in his grey raincoat which made him look like a stalker at best, I am now incapable of making an informed decision about the Penhall/Hanson debate. The only way I can solve this is by watching all 4 series that include both the Johnny and Peter DL, and reporting back to you after that. So, Lizzy, if you're reading this: I hope you know what to do!! Make you mark in this most important debate! If you want me to resolve this issue, you have to lend me the other seasons... Otherwise, this mystery will forever be unsolved...
(Does anyone think I might be a little obsessed? No? Okay, me neither..)