Why The Princess Was Happy She Wasn't Going Out With The Crab Anymore (Or; I Am Sorry For Using Such A Bad Joke As My Title, But It Fits So Well!)

The Beautiful Princess is walking along an extremely pretty beach. The sun is shining, the sand is hot, and the tide is going down. The Beautiful Princess decides to sit down for a while to enjoy her surroundings. As time passes, more of the sea disappears, and finally it reveals a big crab sitting on the wet part of the beach.

CRAB: Hello
B.P.: Oh, hello Crab, I didn't see you there.
CRAB: Oh, that's okay, you looked quite busy anyway.
B.P.: Well, I have some time to talk, if you would like to.
CRAB: Great. So, how are you?
B.P.: I am actually doing great, I mean, I managed to slay that pesky dragon that was bothering me so much at the castle, and I am really proud of it! It takes some getting used to finally living in such a calm and smoke-free castle, but it is really nice! How are you?
CRAB: Uh-huh. I am really busy right now, you know, just one week left in crab-fishing season, busy dodging those nets! I can tell you right now, you can't imagine how stressful it is, and I never seem to manage to find a hiding place in time! I have been truly stressed for the past few months, and the last week is always the worst!
B.P.: Well, at least you know it's going to be over soon!
CRAB: I don't know, it just makes it worse, you know, having to figure out what to do after the season ends, trying to dodge those nets, and you know, the last week is always the worst!
B.P.: I'm sure you'll be able to do it, you are the Dodging King, aren't you?
CRAB (puffs up slightly): Well, yes, I mean, you know, that's true, but still... You shouldn't underestimate the stress I am under! (in an off-hand way) Oh by the way, I got that message in a bottle you sent me, about the dragon and how we broke up and stuff.
B.P. (slightly annoyed): Oh, right, okay. Well, you know, I feel so much better now, I was worried you weren't answering because you were angry with me or something.
CRAB: Oh no, no, just, busy, you know?
B.P.: Yes, I see. Well, you know, I felt I just wanted to explain some things to you, and I was really close to slaying the dragon, so I thought it was the right time to-
CRAB: So, you notice anything different about me?
B.P. (very annoyed now): Ehm, no, what is it?
CRAB (triumphantly): I got my hair done!
B.P.: Oh, right, yes, it's, ehm, red. Looks very, ehm, different from what you used to have.
CRAB: I know! I mean, I always had a bit of red, but you know, this is proper red! And I just feel so happy with it! And you know, with all this net-dodging I've been so busy I am really losing weight and I feel much better about myself! I mean, you know, I have lost a bit of weight, but I guess I just need to keep it up and maybe...
B.P.: Yes, if you just keep it up I am sure you will lose loads more, and it is healthy to keep moving, anyways. Just take it one step at a time, you know? You'll see the results in the end.
CRAB: Yeah, yeah, I guess so! I mean, you know, I really want to lose some more weight, so I am just going to pretend there's nets there, and I'll be dodging them! Ha! Ha! Ha!
B.P.: Heh. Yeh. Good for you.
CRAB: Yes, and I am so happy with my new hairdo! And you know, I am just feeling so much better with all the exercise.
B.P.: Yes, you must! I am still quite exhausted from slaying that huge dragon, but when I have had a bit of a rest I will get back to doing some exercise myself!
CRAB: Ha! Ha! Yeh, exercise is really dull but I feel really good doing it. You know, I already lost some weight. And I'm hardly eating with the stress! So that had me a bit worried. But I don't think I will eat tonight.
B.P.: It's probably better if you do.
CRAB: Hm, yes. Oh my God, I just managed to dodge the Lobster this morning, he is so annoying! Good grief. I think I saw him without his shell the other day, it was disgusting! You know, he is still so clingy! He keeps making pictures of me with his underwater-camera and stuff, it's well annoying.
B.P.: Yes, it must be. Well, anyways, I think I heard the dinner gong, so I'd better go!
CRAB: Oh, right yeah, well, I'd better get back into the sea! No use getting all dry and whatnot! Bye!
B.P. (walking away): Bye.