A Life Of One's Own

I have spent the past few days first with my aunt in London and Reading, and then with Em in Southampton. I had a really good time, and I finally saw an English beach! More importantly, though, in the last week or so I have finally achieved what I have wanted to for about half my life.
I am happy with my life and who I am.
I have worked out my feelings about my parents and their divorce and handling of it, I have realised that I am quite nice-looking and a nice person as well, and I have started to take a much more active interest in my surroundings. I am even starting to seriously think about signing up for the gym/starting a dance/work-out class, after I come back from seeing my grandparents. And I am going to be handing in one of my essays before I leave on Saturday.
I wrote my mother a letter about my post on May the 10th, and we had a short conversation on the phone about it while I was in the British Museum with my aunt on Thursday. Basically, I am just so happy that my mum can let me be my own person and make my own choices in life without trying to run my life for me. I don't know whether my father and I will ever be able to talk openly about our relationship and past, but I have accepted that and have realised that I am the only person who can live my life, and I need to make myself happy, rather than just do what others expect of me. Still, I am happy that I am going to be able to have a good talk with my mother when I go home, and that she is willing to open up to (and for) me. Seriously, mama, it really means a lot to me.
Anyways, this post is seriously unstructured, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I am enjoying life again, and the backdrop of blackness and unhappiness that was in my mind for such a long time has finally gone. I actually like myself now, and I am really looking forward to living the life I am going to choose for myself.