Awesome Lady - The Battle of Boredom

Awesome Lady walked into her home and flopped down on her Awesome Sofa. It had been a regular sofa to being with, but after an especially brutal fight, the Fluffinator had had to put some extra stuffing into it, so that now it was the most comfortable, lovely, and, well, Awesome Sofa in the world.
Awesome Lady looked around her and sighed. Her living room was sparkling. She looked behind her into her bedroom, which, too, was sparkling. She looked through the door in front of her to see that her bathroom and kitchen, too, were cleaner than they had ever been. Due to her rather particular upbringing, Awesome Lady's house never had time to grow dirty even when crime-fighting was at its peak, which, incidentally, it wasn't right now. In fact, it hadn' t even come anywhere close to peak-ish. Awesome Lady was bored. So bored she considered, very briefly, 'accidentally' letting one or two notorious bandits free. Of course, her innate sense of justice wouldn't allow her, so she turned on the t.v. and zapped her way through exactly 48 channels of reality shows, sports, rubbish films and weather reports before grunting angrily and turning the t.v. off again.
Awesome Lady lay down and dozed off for a bit, and all of a sudden she found herself dreaming of the stranger she had met after her horrible fight with Shevila. The Fiendess had never showed up again, and although Awesome Lady was generally too busy to worry about anything but enemies that were right in front of her, it had been so quiet lately that her mind had been occupied almost wholly with that very strange night not so long ago. She dreamt now that she was back on the roof of the Cathedral, and she was watching the stranger and the Many-Named Serpentess fight. Their fight was unlike anything she had ever seen before. Awesome Lady had fought terrible fights that were harsh and cruel and made her bring out a savageness she rarely experienced, but she had never witnessed, let alone fought, a battle so beautiful and energetic. Although it was obviously a terrible fight, the beauty/ugliness of the She-Devil and the beauty and nobility of the stranger made a terrifyingly mesmerising match. Their combined energies (for there was no doubt that in their fight, they became an almost inseperable unity) shed a light that hypnotised Awesome Lady, and in spite of her brain calling out her duty to help the tiger-like stranger, she sat down and watched the fight.
After what seemed a century, the two broke apart and Shevila scampered off into the night. The stranger fell down on the floor, and with a cry of distress and worry, Awesome Lady ran to him. She knelt beside him and checked that he was breathing, which he was, lay down next to him and embraced him. They stayed like that for a while, and then the man woke up, smiling. As soon as he saw Awesome Lady, he looked distressed and jumped up. 'You shouldn't be here!' the stranger yelled, pushing an astounded Awesome Lady from his arms. Too surprised to say or do anything, Awesome Lady looked pleadingly at the handsome stranger. 'I don't know how you got her, but you need to leave. This place is not safe, and you shouldn't have come back here. Please, leave now and don't come back!' Awesome Lady tried to speak as she felt herself slowly waking up. She willed herself to keep sleeping, but it was all in vain, and as she woke up she heard the stranger say just a few more words 'Be careful... Your future...'

Awesome Lady: The Stranger

It had been a long day for Awesome Lady. She had spent the whole day spring cleaning her apartment in between fighting crime, and in the evening, when even the floor behind the toilet was sparkling and most of the criminals were either in hospital or behind bars, Awesome Lady finally settled down with a glass of wine and a good book. Johnny Cash was playing in the background, and Awesome Lady slowly relaxed.
Of course, she should have known better. Unable to even read the second page of her book, Awesome Lady's danger radar made her fly across town, to the newly erected cathedral. When she got there, it was so dark she had to switch to night-vision to be able to see. Night-vision wasn't one of Awesome Lady's strongest powers, but she could make out general shapes, and more importantly, she had a very keen sense of smell, and could usually smell out a bad guy before she saw them. Stood outside the cathedral, Awesome Lady soon figured out that the culprit was on the roof, so she flew up as stealthily as she could.
When she got there she was stunned to see a woman who was both incredibly beautiful and monstrously ugly. 'Shevila...' Awesome Lady gasped, 'what on earth?' But the She-Devil gave her no time to recover from her surprise and leaped on top of Awesome Lady. Awesome Lady fell over, her face digging into the roof tiles. Shevila's claws were digging into Awesome Lady's back, and the She-Devil's teeth started shredding the flesh on our superhero's arms. Awesome Lady was too stunned to move until she felt the Demoness's teeth in her arms, and then she used all her strength to jump up and throw off the Foul Fiendess. She jumped on her feet, ignoring the pain in her back and arms, and kicked the Princess of Darkness, who almost fell over but managed to balance herself with her two tails. Before Shevila could gain her composure, Awesome Lady was on top of her, kicking and punching as fast and hard as she could, but with every blow Shevila seemed to gain strength. She was laughing manically, relishing the violence raining down on her hybrid body, and when Awesome Lady had exhausted herself, Shevila stood up, took Awesome Lady's throat in her left claw and started squeezing.
Realising the Savage could not be beaten by using violence and that she would die if she did not come up with something soon, Awesome Lady feverishly tried to remember her father's hurried lessons after her fight with the Prison Guard had almost killed both of them. Almost entirely invincible and gaining strength from violence, Shevila was assumed to be a legend by most superheroes and The Gentleman of Justice, who preferred concrete nemeses to the more spiritual ones, hadn't spent a lot of time teaching his daughter about the Many-Named Serpentess. Awesome Lady's brain, troubled by the lack of oxygen that was fast becoming a serious problem, could not see a way out. Knowing when she was beaten had never been one of Awesome Lady's strong points, but she had to admit that this time, she could see no way out. She gave into the darkness and thought of her parents as she slowly slid into oblivion...

As she lost control of her powers, Awesome Lady's body slowly shut down, changing into the less demanding form of the Fluffinator. Pink, fluffy and cute, the Fluffinator burned into the skin and eyes of Shevila, who let go of her victim's throat and slunk off into the night.
The Fluffinator collapsed on the roof, unable to do anything but slowly gather strength. As she gradually changed back into Awesome Lady, she started feeling her back and arms, and wondered how she would get home. Her regeneration took several hours, and when Awesome Lady was ready to think about getting up the sun was starting to rise. She looked up to see the sunrise, and noticed a figure sitting a few meters away. Immediately alarmed, Awesome Lady pushed herself to an upright position and got ready to fight. Then the figure moved out of the shadows and into the colourful light of the starting day.
Awesome Lady had never been at a loss for words, but right now she couldn't make a sound. She also could not take her eyes of the man that was standing on front of her. He had a golden skin and a mane of black hair, interspersed with blond streaks. What would have looked ridiculous on any other man looked completely natural on him. The man looked like he should have been in an advertisement for the perfect superhero (there was no doubt he was a superhero), with his muscular body and bewitching green eyes. But the most remarkable thing about him was his not his looks. It was the sense of raw strength, nobility and kindness expressed in his face that made this stranger so captivating to Awesome Lady.
Then he spoke, and his accent suited his appearance so perfectly that it was too much for Awesome Lady, and she almost fell down again. 'That was quite the fight you had, earlier.' Although Awesome Lady wanted the stranger to admire and like her as much as she already admired him, she couldn't help herself getting angry. 'You were watching?!? You saw how she attacked me and you didn't do anything? What the hell were you thinking?? I could have died!'
The stranger looked at her and laughed. 'You look cute when you're angry.'
Awesome Lady looked at him and he winked. She turned around, frustrated, and flew home, his laughing ringing in her ears.

To Be Continued...

Of course, Bernard had never meant to become Rubbish Man and doom his relationship with Claire forever. He loved her very much, but after four years of coming second, or even lower down, on the list of priorities in Awesome Lady's busy life, he had had enough. He left her. Or rather, he tried to leave her. But in spite of all his hatred of what she had become, he still loved the tiny part of Awesome Lady that remained hidden to most people.
In order to survive as a superhero, Awesome Lady had all but erased the young woman she used to be. Claire, if ever thought of, was considered by Awesome Lady as a distant memory, nothing important, and definitely an unnecessary part of her personality. To Bernard, however, it had become the only thing in his life worth living for. He didn't like his job (he never managed to finish his chemistry degree) and hated having to appear at public events with Awesome Lady, where everyone ignored him because he was so plain-looking. If people did talk to him it was usually to order drinks, and Bernard had long given up trying to explain he was not a waiter, and usually spent all evening walking to and fro with drinks.
And then there was Brock Supernova. He was the young god of superheroes, and young girls everywhere fell asleep every night thinking of him. Every month another article about the suspected relationship between Awesome Lady and Supernova was published, and every month Bernard grew more and more jealous of the two. He knew Awesome Lady and Brock Supernova were not in love (Brock had a lovely boyfriend who was just as invisible as Bernard, but thankful for it), but the fact that Supernova got to spend more time than Bernard with the woman he loved angered him beyond reason.
So, regardless of the dangers he would be putting Claire and Awesome Lady in, Bernard started to experiment. He still had his textbooks and some good friends left from his time at University, and he set up a laboratory in the shed.

Previous Installments Of Awesome Lady

This is the first one
This is the second one
and yay for me for finding out how to link!

The Importance Of An Alter-Ego (2): The Start Of Awesome Lady

Claire put both her feet firmly on the ground and looked The Prison Guard in the eyes. Inside, she was trembling and terrified, but she knew better than to show her fear. Her opponent, on the other hand, did not expect much of a struggle from the young woman in front of him and just wanted to make her suffer until The Gentleman of Justice would wake up, just in time to see her die.
Claire looked at her father, lying wounded and unconscious on the roadside, and felt an anger rising inside her which made her do something she would never otherwise have done. She looked up at The Prison Guard's face and yelled: 'You will never touch me or my family again!' The Prison Guard, laughing, shot a bolt of electricity at her and for a moment, Claire was powerless. Then, all of a sudden, she felt stronger than ever before and she hit her enemy with a much stronger bolt. The crowd that had gathered was slightly singed, but The Prison Guard, understandably impervious to electricity, was unhurt. He roared with laughter and sent another bolt Claire's way. And another, and again and again until nothing could be seen but a big ball of smoke.
The crowd, which had moved to a safer place to watch the fight, had no more hopes for the nations most beloved superhero's daughter. But inside the smoke, Claire felt something she had never felt before: with every bolt The Prison Guard sent her way, she became stronger and stronger, until finally, she knew she was stronger than both her father and his arch nemesis put together.
When the smoke had cleared, The Prison Guard's smugness disappeared with it. Before him stood not the 19-year-old student he was so eager to torture, but an amazingly beautiful yet frightening young woman. Her entire body glowed with energy, and from her eyes shone a terrifying light. The Prison Guard, realising his mistake but unwilling to admit it, tried to attack her but he was stopped by a kick in the stomach which sent him flying through the air. Claire, able to fly much faster than her enemy could fall, was waiting for him when he landed and launched into a clobbering the likes of which The Prison Guard had never been subjected to.
Completely exhausted, The Prison Guard tried a final time to gather up some energy to electrocute his adversary, but Claire simply waited for him to charge up and then threw him into the newly erected monumental fountain that was the pride of her hometown. The Prison Guard, unable to rid himself of the charge he had meant to kill Claire with, short-circuited and died.
Claire collapsed and was caught by her father, who had woken up just in time to see his arch nemesis die. As The Gentleman of Justice took his exhausted daughter in his arms and flew her to safety, the crowd let out a deafening cheer. 'Wow,' said one of the onlookers, 'the daughter of The Gentleman of Justice really is one Awesome Lady.'

The Importance Of An Alter-Ego (1)

Although they were otherwise very good parents, Mrs Sparkle and The Gentleman of Justice never taught Claire the necessity, for a superhero of her caliber, of an alter-ego. Both Mrs Sparkle, who was a minor superhero (but huge in Germany) whose powers consisted of making evil people (or bathrooms) extremely clean, and The Gentleman of Justice, who, as his name suggests, was a very just and polite superhero who only fought fair fights and never let a bad guy get away, came from normal, non-super families and had never expected to have a superhero daughter. The Gentleman of Justice, who was an enormous star and away from home more times than not, left it to his wife to raise their daughter.
There are a lot of good things to be said about Mrs Sparkle: she loved her child dearly, instilled in her a sense of immaculate cleanliness, and made sure she went to school and bed on time. Claire went to the best schools possible (which were very good schools indeed as her father was basically superhero royalty), but when she discovered her superpowers, of which there were many, no one guided her through the usually long and difficult path to superhero-dom.
And this was how, when she was 19 and ready to go to university, Claire stumbled into her superhero life without knowing the first thing about protecting herself.
While walking to a lecture on a sunny Wednesday morning, Claire noticed a smell. The smell was neither pleasant nor foul, but to Claire it signified something very important. It was the same smell she had smelled every time her father went away for business, and every time her mother decided it was time for a spring cleaning (which was about once a month). It was her superhero danger radar, which at that point was so connected with her family Claire expected her mother to jump out of the bushes with a vacuum cleaner. This didn't happen, but when she went around a corner she saw what had triggered her radar: in the middle of the road stood The Prison Guard, one of the strongest and most evil nemeses of Claire's hometown and The Gentleman of Justice. Stuck in an eternal battle, neither one had ever been able to completely defeat the other, but right now, The Prison Guard had Claire's father in a death grip.
Before Claire knew what she was doing, she screamed out for her father and flew to face the metal-clad master of electrocution. 'Hmmm,' he said, 'So this is the daughter my enemy has been so careful to protect... Let's see how she measures up to her father.' The Gentleman of Justice, before he could even warn Claire or fly her to a safe space, was flung to one side and became unconscious as his head hit a tree.
What followed was a battle of the extremes: Claire, being unused to her powers and used to the fair fights she had seen her father have on the 8 o'clock news, had to use all her resources and strength to stay alive, let alone fight back. Her father, when he regained consciousness, tried to help her, but he soon recognised the immense strength his daughter had and realised his interference would make the fight extremely unbalanced, preventing him from being able to help. So he stood watching, hoping for his daughter to realise her strength in time for her to walk away unscathed.
But something he had never expected happened next...
(To Be Continued)

All Is Fair In Love And War

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the grass was soft to sit on. Bernard and Claire were sitting on a picnic rug which was buried under the remains of a very satisfying lunch. Looking at his girlfriend, Bernard knew he was happier than he had ever been before. Claire smiled as she leant over and gave him a long kiss. She swiftly cleared the rug of their lunch and they lay down next to each other. "The park is deserted," whispered Claire, "no one will disturb us.." and she slowly took off her shirt. As Bernard moved to kiss her again, the birds started to sound louder and less charming, until Bernard realised that the incessant beeping came out of his alarm. He should have known, really, because in reality, Claire had never been around long enough to actually finish a picnic lunch. In fact, the last time they had tried to have a romantic picnic, in the period that Bernard now called the 'unhappy time', some kids had recognised Claire and made her sign autographs all afternoon, which she had of course agreed to do because she truly loved her fans. "Kids..." Bernard grumbled, "Bloody pests."
The children, for Bernard, had done it. For the gentle man he was, he had a surprising amount of hatred reserved especially for children, and these children were, unknowingly, ruining his chances of spending some precious time with his already heavily engaged girlfriend. The one time a week he could really spend time with her, Bernard believed, she should understand he wanted to spend some alone time with her, but to her, her work and her fans would always come first. Not being able to break up with Claire because he knew he could not live without her, he chose a far more secretive and devastating - as well as slower - way of making sure their relationship would never be the same. Of course, at the time, he had thought life would become simpler and happier, but he had not accounted for the damage his actions would do to Claire's body and mental state, nor how much the guilt would change him.
As he stepped into his uniform and got ready to go to work, Bernard thought of Claire, or, as the whole world knew her now, Awesome Lady, and he sighed. The beautiful, tender feelings he had so carefully and unintentionally changed into guilt and - through the denial of this guilt - hatred consumed Bernard, or as the whole world knew him, Rubbish Man.
"I must have her!" He thought, "I must have her all for myself!" As he stepped into his Rubbish Van, ready to spread menace and pain, Rubbish Man started to form a masterplan, a plan that would be almost as terrible, and certainly as painful for Awesome Lady, as the plan that had destroyed their relationship so many years ago.

Awesome Lady: An Introduction

As Awesome Lady was walking to the supermarket to pick up some wholesome foodstuffs for breakfast (yesterday's crime fighting had left her to forget her empty fridge and cupboards), she picked up a signal on her danger radar. She quickly flew to the source of the signal to save the little girl that was being held high above the morning traffic from a rooftop by Awesome Lady's Arch Nemesis: Rubbish Man.
Rubbish Man, as his name suggests, was the exact oppposite of Awesome Lady: a petty little man who saw bad in everything and was out to ruin the life of anyone taller than him (which was everyone except babies and garden gnomes), but his special goal in life was to ensure Awesome Lady's downfall. He frequently set up situations that he thought would cause Awesome Lady to fail, but, as her name suggests, Awesome Lady very rarely did.
'So, Awesome Lady, we meet again... And this time there will be no escape: marry me, or the girl gets it!' Awesome Lady rolled her eyes and answered: 'Bernard, haven't we been through this enough? I am not going to marry you, and you're not going to kill that little girl.' For a minute, the little girl's eyes lit up and she let out a little cheer, but this was soon punished by Rubbish Man dropping her Teddy into the traffic. The sight of her beloved toy's mangled corpse silenced the little girl and the light in her eyes grew dim.
'You get one more chance, Awesome Lady; promise to marry me or the girl gets it!!' Unfortunately, Awesome Lady's powers prevented her from promising something she knew she would not do, so she had to rely on her persuasive skills to prevent Rubbish Man (or Bernard, as only she knew him - her soft spot for him always prevented her from calling him Rubbish Man to his face). Even more unfortunately, Rubbish Man was, after four years of similar scenarios, quite immune to her non-physical charms, so Awesome Lady knew she had to work hard, and that on an empty stomach.
'Bernard, you know I cannot marry you, stop being so silly and leave that poor little girl alone so I can have some breakfast!' (It was obvious that the lack of breakfast and the fact that she had to repeat this conversation on an almost weekly basis had their affects on Awesome Lady's persuasive skills.) Unsurprisingly, Rubbish Man wasn't convinced, and, knowing he'd not get her to consent on an empty stomach, he dropped the girl. As she quickly saw the rush hour traffic approaching, the little girl let out a heartbreaking scream, which tore through Awesome Lady's heart, and even made Rubbish Man doubt his actions for a nano-second.
Awesome Lady knew she could not save the girl by catching her in flight as she was already too close to the oncoming traffic, so she quickly changed into her alter ego, The Fluffinator, and changed some of the cars directly underneath the little girl into pink fluff. As the little girl fell into the pink fluff, Rubbish Man, seeing yet another of his evil schemes foiled by the love of his life, climbed into his Rubbish Van and flew off in a huff.
After the cars had been changed back and the girl handed back to her grateful mother, Awesome Lady decided she had deserved a treat, and she set off to the nearest bagel place.
As she ate her mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel and sipped her Earl Grey, she thought back fondly to the time, years ago, when she had met a kind short man full of dreams and ideas who she had fallen in love with. Today she had seen that same man (or rather, a vague shadow of that same man) attempting to kill a little girl just to get her back in his life. Where had it all gone wrong? And would she ever be able to get the real Bernard back? Awesome Lady stared into her now emtpy cup, but found no answers.