Family

Two days ago my friend Boris' grandfather died. Things like this always make me think: what would I do if anything happened to anyone in my family? As I live in a different country to every one of my relatives (and we're quite a spread-out family), I feel as if I cannot give them the attention and love they deserve.
When I still lived in Amsterdam, 4 years ago now, I knew all the birthdays and ages of my cousins and grandparents, and would always go to every birthday party, sometimes on my own, but I didn't mind this because I believed, and still do, that showing your family you care about them is very important. Moreover, I enjoy spending time with my family.
However, since I moved to England, I feel as if me and my family are slowly drifting apart. I know this sounds dramatic, but when I lived in Germany, I went home every holiday, and even in Germany, I lived with part of my family. In England, however, I have no family connections, and have to rely on my friends and my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and have some good friends, but nothing in my mind is as important as family. Both my grandmothers have lost their only sisters in the last year, and I could not be there to comfort them. My closest friends have lost important family members, and again, I could not be there to offer support.
Not only do I miss my family and friends back home immensely, I also feel as if I am failing them as a daughter, granddaughter, cousin and friend. I know my family is proud of me for what I am achieving in England, but I also know that when it comes to real problems or even happy moments in their lives, I won't be there to share in their happiness or sorrow. And my greatest fear is that one of my family members dies before I have a chance to say goodbye to them. Although I feel sorry for Boris and what he is going through, I know he feels better about his grandfather's death because they got to say goodbye to each other.
I hope that when my grandparents go, not only that this is a long way away from now, but also that I will be able to say goodbye to them and let them know how important they are to me.