My (our) cat (name: Bop. Bobbie or 'the Dog' to family) proved today that he is a MAN.
How he did this: we have a ledge outside the window that he chills on (we have no balcony). Today the window was open, and just as Bop went to sit on the ledge, a pigeon bumped into the closed part of the window, and thought it safe to rest awhile, on Bop's ledge. Of course, Bop quickly sprang into action, chasing away the pigeon, which left quite a few feathers behind in the process.
My cat is a MAN. No doubt about it.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
All Is Fair In Love And War
The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and the grass was soft to sit on. Bernard and Claire were sitting on a picnic rug which was buried under the remains of a very satisfying lunch. Looking at his girlfriend, Bernard knew he was happier than he had ever been before. Claire smiled as she leant over and gave him a long kiss. She swiftly cleared the rug of their lunch and they lay down next to each other. "The park is deserted," whispered Claire, "no one will disturb us.." and she slowly took off her shirt. As Bernard moved to kiss her again, the birds started to sound louder and less charming, until Bernard realised that the incessant beeping came out of his alarm. He should have known, really, because in reality, Claire had never been around long enough to actually finish a picnic lunch. In fact, the last time they had tried to have a romantic picnic, in the period that Bernard now called the 'unhappy time', some kids had recognised Claire and made her sign autographs all afternoon, which she had of course agreed to do because she truly loved her fans. "Kids..." Bernard grumbled, "Bloody pests."
The children, for Bernard, had done it. For the gentle man he was, he had a surprising amount of hatred reserved especially for children, and these children were, unknowingly, ruining his chances of spending some precious time with his already heavily engaged girlfriend. The one time a week he could really spend time with her, Bernard believed, she should understand he wanted to spend some alone time with her, but to her, her work and her fans would always come first. Not being able to break up with Claire because he knew he could not live without her, he chose a far more secretive and devastating - as well as slower - way of making sure their relationship would never be the same. Of course, at the time, he had thought life would become simpler and happier, but he had not accounted for the damage his actions would do to Claire's body and mental state, nor how much the guilt would change him.
As he stepped into his uniform and got ready to go to work, Bernard thought of Claire, or, as the whole world knew her now, Awesome Lady, and he sighed. The beautiful, tender feelings he had so carefully and unintentionally changed into guilt and - through the denial of this guilt - hatred consumed Bernard, or as the whole world knew him, Rubbish Man.
"I must have her!" He thought, "I must have her all for myself!" As he stepped into his Rubbish Van, ready to spread menace and pain, Rubbish Man started to form a masterplan, a plan that would be almost as terrible, and certainly as painful for Awesome Lady, as the plan that had destroyed their relationship so many years ago.
The children, for Bernard, had done it. For the gentle man he was, he had a surprising amount of hatred reserved especially for children, and these children were, unknowingly, ruining his chances of spending some precious time with his already heavily engaged girlfriend. The one time a week he could really spend time with her, Bernard believed, she should understand he wanted to spend some alone time with her, but to her, her work and her fans would always come first. Not being able to break up with Claire because he knew he could not live without her, he chose a far more secretive and devastating - as well as slower - way of making sure their relationship would never be the same. Of course, at the time, he had thought life would become simpler and happier, but he had not accounted for the damage his actions would do to Claire's body and mental state, nor how much the guilt would change him.
As he stepped into his uniform and got ready to go to work, Bernard thought of Claire, or, as the whole world knew her now, Awesome Lady, and he sighed. The beautiful, tender feelings he had so carefully and unintentionally changed into guilt and - through the denial of this guilt - hatred consumed Bernard, or as the whole world knew him, Rubbish Man.
"I must have her!" He thought, "I must have her all for myself!" As he stepped into his Rubbish Van, ready to spread menace and pain, Rubbish Man started to form a masterplan, a plan that would be almost as terrible, and certainly as painful for Awesome Lady, as the plan that had destroyed their relationship so many years ago.
I Am A Despicable Human Being
Or so I am told. Well, not in so many words, but I was told off for not updating soon enough, so I'll relate my weekend to all of youse.
On Thursday, my two brothers and I had pancakes with my uncle, at his place. It was a lot of fun, and my uncle was very happy to have all three of us together again in his (new) house, and even talked about starting a tradition. I was incredibly full when we left, also because of the huge fruit salad we had for pudding.
Friday I went to my friend Merel's house (she's real, no one ever believes me but she really is!! I would post a picture of us here if I thought she wouldn't kill me if I did) and we hung out. I chatted with her and her mum, who has become about as good a friend as Merel is, we've known each other about 9 years now and I've been at their place so many times I feel weird taking the front door, so I never do. Anyways, we sat in the living room talking and watching tv, and I got a (belated) birthday gift!! Yay. Then we had... pancakes for dinner!! Teehee. We went to bed ridiculously late and kept talking till about 4 am, and woke up at about 12 the next day.
So Saturday, we did nothing whatsoever and then I went home for dinner.
Sunday I went to my aunt's birthday party at her girlfriend's new house in Nijmegen. My aunt lives in Germany, so with all the different countries we live in (her girlfriend used to live in Rome) we hardly ever get to see each other, and to have almost the entire family there was great!! I gave her a cookiemonster balloon (which she loved) and a book she already had as presents, so now I have to come up with something new...
Anyways, Monday I did laundry and sat in my pajamas watching tv all day.
Today I have to do lots of things and then go for dinner with Merel (same Merel) and Boris! Maybe we'll go see Superman.
On Thursday, my two brothers and I had pancakes with my uncle, at his place. It was a lot of fun, and my uncle was very happy to have all three of us together again in his (new) house, and even talked about starting a tradition. I was incredibly full when we left, also because of the huge fruit salad we had for pudding.
Friday I went to my friend Merel's house (she's real, no one ever believes me but she really is!! I would post a picture of us here if I thought she wouldn't kill me if I did) and we hung out. I chatted with her and her mum, who has become about as good a friend as Merel is, we've known each other about 9 years now and I've been at their place so many times I feel weird taking the front door, so I never do. Anyways, we sat in the living room talking and watching tv, and I got a (belated) birthday gift!! Yay. Then we had... pancakes for dinner!! Teehee. We went to bed ridiculously late and kept talking till about 4 am, and woke up at about 12 the next day.
So Saturday, we did nothing whatsoever and then I went home for dinner.
Sunday I went to my aunt's birthday party at her girlfriend's new house in Nijmegen. My aunt lives in Germany, so with all the different countries we live in (her girlfriend used to live in Rome) we hardly ever get to see each other, and to have almost the entire family there was great!! I gave her a cookiemonster balloon (which she loved) and a book she already had as presents, so now I have to come up with something new...
Anyways, Monday I did laundry and sat in my pajamas watching tv all day.
Today I have to do lots of things and then go for dinner with Merel (same Merel) and Boris! Maybe we'll go see Superman.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
Merilly Merel Or Merely Merel?
Okay, so a few people have talked to me about the title of my blog, and to try out a new, non-selfdeprecating me, I thought I'd change my title to Merel-y (Merrily) Merel and see how I (and you) feel about it.
In other news: Awesome Lady will make a comeback soonish, I am just working out her background.
In other news: Awesome Lady will make a comeback soonish, I am just working out her background.
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Awesome Lady: An Introduction
As Awesome Lady was walking to the supermarket to pick up some wholesome foodstuffs for breakfast (yesterday's crime fighting had left her to forget her empty fridge and cupboards), she picked up a signal on her danger radar. She quickly flew to the source of the signal to save the little girl that was being held high above the morning traffic from a rooftop by Awesome Lady's Arch Nemesis: Rubbish Man.
Rubbish Man, as his name suggests, was the exact oppposite of Awesome Lady: a petty little man who saw bad in everything and was out to ruin the life of anyone taller than him (which was everyone except babies and garden gnomes), but his special goal in life was to ensure Awesome Lady's downfall. He frequently set up situations that he thought would cause Awesome Lady to fail, but, as her name suggests, Awesome Lady very rarely did.
'So, Awesome Lady, we meet again... And this time there will be no escape: marry me, or the girl gets it!' Awesome Lady rolled her eyes and answered: 'Bernard, haven't we been through this enough? I am not going to marry you, and you're not going to kill that little girl.' For a minute, the little girl's eyes lit up and she let out a little cheer, but this was soon punished by Rubbish Man dropping her Teddy into the traffic. The sight of her beloved toy's mangled corpse silenced the little girl and the light in her eyes grew dim.
'You get one more chance, Awesome Lady; promise to marry me or the girl gets it!!' Unfortunately, Awesome Lady's powers prevented her from promising something she knew she would not do, so she had to rely on her persuasive skills to prevent Rubbish Man (or Bernard, as only she knew him - her soft spot for him always prevented her from calling him Rubbish Man to his face). Even more unfortunately, Rubbish Man was, after four years of similar scenarios, quite immune to her non-physical charms, so Awesome Lady knew she had to work hard, and that on an empty stomach.
'Bernard, you know I cannot marry you, stop being so silly and leave that poor little girl alone so I can have some breakfast!' (It was obvious that the lack of breakfast and the fact that she had to repeat this conversation on an almost weekly basis had their affects on Awesome Lady's persuasive skills.) Unsurprisingly, Rubbish Man wasn't convinced, and, knowing he'd not get her to consent on an empty stomach, he dropped the girl. As she quickly saw the rush hour traffic approaching, the little girl let out a heartbreaking scream, which tore through Awesome Lady's heart, and even made Rubbish Man doubt his actions for a nano-second.
Awesome Lady knew she could not save the girl by catching her in flight as she was already too close to the oncoming traffic, so she quickly changed into her alter ego, The Fluffinator, and changed some of the cars directly underneath the little girl into pink fluff. As the little girl fell into the pink fluff, Rubbish Man, seeing yet another of his evil schemes foiled by the love of his life, climbed into his Rubbish Van and flew off in a huff.
After the cars had been changed back and the girl handed back to her grateful mother, Awesome Lady decided she had deserved a treat, and she set off to the nearest bagel place.
As she ate her mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel and sipped her Earl Grey, she thought back fondly to the time, years ago, when she had met a kind short man full of dreams and ideas who she had fallen in love with. Today she had seen that same man (or rather, a vague shadow of that same man) attempting to kill a little girl just to get her back in his life. Where had it all gone wrong? And would she ever be able to get the real Bernard back? Awesome Lady stared into her now emtpy cup, but found no answers.
Rubbish Man, as his name suggests, was the exact oppposite of Awesome Lady: a petty little man who saw bad in everything and was out to ruin the life of anyone taller than him (which was everyone except babies and garden gnomes), but his special goal in life was to ensure Awesome Lady's downfall. He frequently set up situations that he thought would cause Awesome Lady to fail, but, as her name suggests, Awesome Lady very rarely did.
'So, Awesome Lady, we meet again... And this time there will be no escape: marry me, or the girl gets it!' Awesome Lady rolled her eyes and answered: 'Bernard, haven't we been through this enough? I am not going to marry you, and you're not going to kill that little girl.' For a minute, the little girl's eyes lit up and she let out a little cheer, but this was soon punished by Rubbish Man dropping her Teddy into the traffic. The sight of her beloved toy's mangled corpse silenced the little girl and the light in her eyes grew dim.
'You get one more chance, Awesome Lady; promise to marry me or the girl gets it!!' Unfortunately, Awesome Lady's powers prevented her from promising something she knew she would not do, so she had to rely on her persuasive skills to prevent Rubbish Man (or Bernard, as only she knew him - her soft spot for him always prevented her from calling him Rubbish Man to his face). Even more unfortunately, Rubbish Man was, after four years of similar scenarios, quite immune to her non-physical charms, so Awesome Lady knew she had to work hard, and that on an empty stomach.
'Bernard, you know I cannot marry you, stop being so silly and leave that poor little girl alone so I can have some breakfast!' (It was obvious that the lack of breakfast and the fact that she had to repeat this conversation on an almost weekly basis had their affects on Awesome Lady's persuasive skills.) Unsurprisingly, Rubbish Man wasn't convinced, and, knowing he'd not get her to consent on an empty stomach, he dropped the girl. As she quickly saw the rush hour traffic approaching, the little girl let out a heartbreaking scream, which tore through Awesome Lady's heart, and even made Rubbish Man doubt his actions for a nano-second.
Awesome Lady knew she could not save the girl by catching her in flight as she was already too close to the oncoming traffic, so she quickly changed into her alter ego, The Fluffinator, and changed some of the cars directly underneath the little girl into pink fluff. As the little girl fell into the pink fluff, Rubbish Man, seeing yet another of his evil schemes foiled by the love of his life, climbed into his Rubbish Van and flew off in a huff.
After the cars had been changed back and the girl handed back to her grateful mother, Awesome Lady decided she had deserved a treat, and she set off to the nearest bagel place.
As she ate her mozzarella, tomato and pesto bagel and sipped her Earl Grey, she thought back fondly to the time, years ago, when she had met a kind short man full of dreams and ideas who she had fallen in love with. Today she had seen that same man (or rather, a vague shadow of that same man) attempting to kill a little girl just to get her back in his life. Where had it all gone wrong? And would she ever be able to get the real Bernard back? Awesome Lady stared into her now emtpy cup, but found no answers.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)