Family

Two days ago my friend Boris' grandfather died. Things like this always make me think: what would I do if anything happened to anyone in my family? As I live in a different country to every one of my relatives (and we're quite a spread-out family), I feel as if I cannot give them the attention and love they deserve.
When I still lived in Amsterdam, 4 years ago now, I knew all the birthdays and ages of my cousins and grandparents, and would always go to every birthday party, sometimes on my own, but I didn't mind this because I believed, and still do, that showing your family you care about them is very important. Moreover, I enjoy spending time with my family.
However, since I moved to England, I feel as if me and my family are slowly drifting apart. I know this sounds dramatic, but when I lived in Germany, I went home every holiday, and even in Germany, I lived with part of my family. In England, however, I have no family connections, and have to rely on my friends and my boyfriend. Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and have some good friends, but nothing in my mind is as important as family. Both my grandmothers have lost their only sisters in the last year, and I could not be there to comfort them. My closest friends have lost important family members, and again, I could not be there to offer support.
Not only do I miss my family and friends back home immensely, I also feel as if I am failing them as a daughter, granddaughter, cousin and friend. I know my family is proud of me for what I am achieving in England, but I also know that when it comes to real problems or even happy moments in their lives, I won't be there to share in their happiness or sorrow. And my greatest fear is that one of my family members dies before I have a chance to say goodbye to them. Although I feel sorry for Boris and what he is going through, I know he feels better about his grandfather's death because they got to say goodbye to each other.
I hope that when my grandparents go, not only that this is a long way away from now, but also that I will be able to say goodbye to them and let them know how important they are to me.

Laptop

Although at first, I wasn't very happy with my new laptop (arrived Friday!!) because I could not get the internet to work, now that it is working, it is great!!!! Apart from the wonderful games of solitaire, and of course, spider solitaire, I can now read and answer my email at home!!!!! And do research for my MA, but that sounds like less fun to me.... I got emails from two long lost friends from my days at FIS, and found out one of them was actually at my university last month and didn't contact me because she thought I was at home for the summer, sigh. I would love to be at home for the summer, but unfortunately I am not rich and have to work A LOT so I can pay my rent and be able to afford going home for Christmas. SO I have been doing mostly cashiering, which is even more horrible than my normal job at the info desk, because all the customers think they are the only people you ever talk to, so you have to laugh at all their imbecile jokes and try not to feel insulted by rude things they say. Saturday, there was a man who said to me, like it was something I did not know and had never heard before, 'You're not English!' No, really?? No idea, thanks so much for letting me know. But then yesterday, there was a man who said: 'You are great, you're one of the best! But.. you're in the wrong place..' So I asked where I should be, and he said 'Aim for the sky!!' When I told him I go to university he was somewhat placated, and mumbled again, as a sort of mantra, 'aim for the sky...' Much better than being yelled ot joked at, I think!!! The most stupid jokes are men joking about how stupid their wives are, WHY would they think I find that funny? I am a woman, you know, I might find it offensive....
Yesterday, there was a woman who wanted to buy a barbecue, but before she took it home she wanted to open the box and look at the whole thing to check everything was there. Seeing as the box had obviously never been opened before I thought it was a bit exaggerated, and I said to her I was sure everything was there because the box had not been opened and if she had any problems she could always come back to us. But the box had to be opened. Now this particular bbq is one they call 'portable', so it comes in a zip-up bag. I don't know if you've ever lifted a bbq, but once you have, you are more than happy to leave it whereever you put it down. But she apparently wasn't, even though she could not even lift the box a little bit, and had to ask one of the guys to put it in her car for her. Anyways, while she was checking it, she pretended to know where everything was, i.e.: 'oh, this compartment has all the little bits in', only to find that that part, indeed, had the entire barbecue in! When she realised there was no way in hell she could lift the bbq out and check its contents and then get it in the box again, she stopped her quest, payed, and left, feeling me very pissed off. We then found out that the CEO of the company that owns our chain of stores and several others had been standing there looking at us 'helping' this lady without saying a word, and he then disappeared with our Store Manager. We all hate this CEO, because he has caused the realignment (or at least, he represents the evil people who did) and we feel no loyalty for a company who treats its employees as disrespectfully as he (they) does.
Anyway, have to get ready to go to work, haha, it will be fun.... Tomorrow is my day off, so it will be cleaning the house and tidying day, Woohoo!!!! Fun fun fun..
At least the internet is working on my laptop.....